when drunk

when drunk.....

you will not confess your love for a boy named francois

you will not call you ex and tell him what an asshole he is

you will not have a three way kiss

you will not take a bit of random boy piece of pizza

you will shower while drunk because it is the best

shower time :)

The Death of Daddy Big Dick

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time
- Robin Williams

Calling the girl you would like to fuck tonight a bitch is not the way to get her vagina.
Come to my door after i tell i don't wanna see you or have sex is also not one of the top ten ways to get into my vagina.

We should not be fighting like we are boyfriend and girlfriend. That means no arguing over missed phone calls, why we don't we hang out or who was that boy you were at with at lunch? Save it for someone who care or your girlfriend both of which i am neither

my vagina only has one master and i am it.

So consider yourself excommunicated from this vagina

my mommy always give the best advice

Eventually one of two things will happen. Either he'll realize you're worth it, or you'll realize he isn't.

I have chosen the latter.

mental suicide

"To regret something is to hang yourself with your own noose. Mental suicide.”

i don't believe in regrets or at least thats what i have been telling myself lately, because its not that i believe everything happens for a reason so much as that you learn from everything and hopefully grow from it.

But given the chance to do somethings over especially events that happened in the last year or so; i would think a little longer and harder before acting, act with my heart more than mind, and apologize before wounds become scars.

Lessons learned, I am not so sure.

post a secret

lately when ever i drive over a bridge i fantasize about getting out of the car and jumping off of it.

say my name bitch

Just because i ask you a question doesn't mean i don't already know the answer.
So next time i ask you a question you should think to yourself before answering:
is she asking me this question because she doesn't know the answer, so i can get away with a lie.
OR
Is she asking me this question to see if i am going to look her in the eye and lie.
because i can make you say my name in the best way possible
OR
I can make you regret the day you ever heard it.

words

i can't think
I can't write
every time i try to write what i feel, what i am thinking, i can't. I stop myself, its like i get scared or something.
so much has been going on in my life but i can't seem to find the words to express what i am feeling.

but i did have a dream last night that i was adopted by brangelina. yup, i have official lost my mind

You know life sucks when

You walk into your room to find that not only has your dog pissed but also took a shit on your bed.

ugh, you gotta love being home on spring beak, right

Happy Birthday

Happy 18 birthday to the person who has taught me the most and loved me the deepest, mi hermana

Happy 19 birthday to RJ,, in my heart, on my mind,apart of my soul forever
RIP
3/13/89-9/10/07

I hate

i hate that my skin smells like him long after he leaves... it makes me feel dirty
i hate that after i take a shower i lay down in my bed only to be suffocated by his smell on my sheets.
I hate that nothing is ever enough for me, nothing satisfies me anymore. There is not a fuck long enough, hard enough,good enough to ever give me satisfaction.
I hate that i still want him

Welcome to Hell Week

Please sit back and enjoy your ride through Hell Week. Within the next 4 days you will read over 200 pages of useless information, information that will be lost the moment you put your pen down after the test,sleep less than your recommended 6 to 8 hrs of sleep each night, pray to the various gods governing Math 121, History 387, and Polsci 387 to bless you in your time of need.

However do not forget to engage in pleasurable recreational activity daily to help relive stress in a positive way.

alone and lonely

The last couple of days i have been feeling very lonely, its a very unfamiliar feeling and i can't remember the last time i felt this alone. I general i prefer to be alone,
i have also been that girl who is always by herself and like it like that way, just the ability to get lost in my own thoughts and spend time with myself i have always valued. I have always been alone but rarely lonely,until now.

I think its because i am homesick. I wanna sleep in my bed, eat my mommy's food, bother the shit out of my little brother, and just be around my family were i feel most comfortable,most like myself, where i can be alone but not lonely.

falling apart

The void within
Plugged up with sin
Is making me sick
I realized that I despise me
I swear to Christ I'll fix my life
Just give me strength so I can fight this
--- My mistake


Things are falling apart. I can't remember the last time i felt so out of control, i feel like i am taking steps backwards instead of going forward. Some of my bad habits are starting to creep up on me slowly working there way back into my life, and i miss fan fan even if he is a big meany. Things must change.

how i feel

I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that
Easy to walk right in and out
Of my life?
--- almost lover

sex

sex so good you need a smoke after and you don't smoke
sex so good you stop counting how many times you came
I really should learn to control myself or not ;)

I'm into having sex, I ain't into making love

Why shouldn’t I fuck him, because I desire him. Not in that I want to be your girlfriend and meet your mom way but in the hi, I think your sexy and would like to get to know your penis kind of way. Besides the fact that I made a new years resolution but that doesn’t matter anymore because i made it for the wrong reasons.

I am 20 yrs old and for he first time in awhile I am single and very unattached, I thought I could work out something with the person that I wanted but life and my heart seem to be leading me in a different direction .


I told my mom about everything that had happened between me and HS and my relationship with Portugal needed no explanation because I have dated him on and off since I was 14. And like always my mommy is the voice of reason in the chaos that sometimes clouds my thoughts. She was telling me that at 20 I am only responsible for one person and that is myself. Don’t be stupid but take risk and do what makes you happy.
So until I find a boy who makes me take a second look, I am doing whatever and whoever I please ;)