My first Aha moment

I was watching divorce court this morning and the judge said something that gave me an Oprah aha moment.


You can not love a man into something he is not.

Especially where i come from a lot of a women have what my girlfriends and I have deemed the save a nigga complex

It can be fatal and highly contagious

Symptoms include the use of phrases as:


He has potential

I can change him

I am not like those other girls he has dated

I think a lot of women have this complex. Thinking that if you love a man hard enough, and long enough you can change a man into the faithful doting father and husband that you dream of. Instead you end up settling for less and missing the opportunity to be with a real man while you wait for your little boy to grow up.

I found this awhile ago and i think it right on point, now if i can only but my knowledge into practice in my own life



if a man wants you, there's nothing that can keep him away.
if he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. stop making
excuses for him and his behavior. all your intuition to save you
from heartache. slower is better. don't settle. if you feel like he is
stringing you along, he probably is. don't stay because you think
"it will get better". never let a man know everything, he will use
it against you later. don't ever make him feel like he is more
important than you are. do not make him into a quasi-god. he
is a man, nothing more, nothing less. never let a man define
who you are. never borrow someone else's man. if he cheated
with you, he'll cheat on you. you should never look for someone
to complete you, a relationship consists of two whole individuals,
look for someone complimentary not supplementary. make him
miss you sometimes.