Has no one told you she not breathing

I don't know what to do
I am scared and alone.
I know I am strong and can handle this.
That this problem is of my own creation.
But I just want someone to talk to.
To understand me and not judge me and let me hurt.
Let me bury my head in their shoulder and cry until i feel like i can breath again.

My family or friends are not an option. There isn't anyone i trust enough not my mother ,sister and i can't think of a friend either. i just don't trust anyone to not just hear what i am saying but actually listen to what I said. Some people are to judgmental even with the best of intentions and i can't stand the thought of someone looking or think less of me or differently and i know that this will happen. So I'll keep it to myself.

But i do think that i am going to have to see a psychiatrist or a counselor because i am not ok.