TMI Tuesday #145 - Language(late) Edition

1. What is your language pet peeve. (example 'hot water heater',
why would you heat hot water)i don't think i have one
2. What is your favorite word? Both dirty and clean?
Dirty is FUCK because its reliable and versatile and clean is you can't go wrong with YES
3. What is the one word you cannot spell?
There are a lot of words i can not spell
4. What is the one word you always pronounce wrong?
Can i ax you a question?
5. If you could erase one popular catchphrase from the english language, what would it be?
Thats what she said.
Bonus (as in optional): The late, and very hot Michael Hutchence (INXS) once said, "Words are weapons, sharper than knives" . What is the most hurtful thing you have ever said to anyone? Was it deliberate or accidental? What was the most hurtful thing ever said to you? Do you think it was deliberate or accidental? I think that i say the most hurtful thing unintentional because i know i can have a sharp tongue so i self edit and if its still hurtful its only half of what i originally wanted to say.
Although i am really sensitive it take a lot to really hurt me and every time its happen i have always felt it was intentional.

Personal Responsibility

Its a huge character flaw i have and it could be Fatal.
My emotions
My actions
My interactions
Are all wrapped up in my inability to take responsibility

Hello, There Stranger

Ever, come across a stranger that reflects a part of yourself. Suddenly that nameless person has a become a part of you for that instant second.Their silent struggle has spoken the deafening words to your own and in a moment they suddenly own your name and you their.



On the lighter side of randomness i am feeling this coldplay song

The road map

that the more people open up to you the more responsible you become for not misusing what they share.

Its like giving someone a road map across the darkest parts of who you are with a big red x drawn across the parts that say hurt me here.

I guess it is like a test of faith that you give someone. When you let them into the most intimate parts of your inner self it becomes the ultimate test. You give them the power to hurt you and trust them not to or be strong enough to forgive them if they do

Food for thought

I have been reading this book by Eckhart Tolle and i can honestly say there has never been words written by a stranger that have touched me so deeply.

Back to my blogging breaak

Trying to let go, to forgive,does not work. Forgiveness happens naturally when you see that it has no purpose other than to strengthen a false sense of self, to keep the ego in place.


The past has no power to stop you from being present now. Only your grievance about the past can do that. And what is a grievance? The baggage of old thought and emotion.

Hebrew 11:1

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.


I am taking a blogging break.
With everything that has/ will be going on within the
next week i feel like i need to take a step back and focus on me.
I plan on being back Aug 1.
Maybe sooner maybe later or maybe never.
So, for now its a catch me if you can.
Peace.


I think that this song is appropriate to how i feel. How I've been feeling




Whenever the end is
Do you think you can see it?
Well, until you get there
Go on, go ahead and scream it
Just say it
--- one republic

FEAR

Fear it paralyzes me. Its all consuming. In every waking thought, it finds its way into my dreams creating nightmares.

Proud

i am so proud of my sister making it to the usatf jr Olympics.

Nebraska here she comes!

Pre Crack Whitney

tonight my family and i were chilling in my back yard and listening to some music when my dad but on some precrack Whitney music and it brouht back a flood of memories from y childhood.

Its funny how the words have a new meaning to me now that i am order.

enjoy

tired

i can't remember the last time i have been so physically exhausted. This week i have been working from 2 to 10:30 and tomorrow I have to work 7 to 4..ugh.
I came this close to cussing a women out at my register today but that little voice inside my head told me to let that heifer go.

bedtime, i have far more interesting thins to write about but i am so tired. Another day another time

TMI Tuesday #142 - Deadly Sins Late Edition

1. LUST: Besides your current Significant Other who do you lust for or have you lusted for?
I attribute lust to desiring someone you can't have and i can say that there have been few people in my life that i intensely desired sexual and couldn't have but there was this one boy in high school.
2. GLUTTONY: What food brings out your inner glutton?
Any good food especially pizza and cupcakes because i would eat them until my stomach couldn't hold anymore
3. GREED: What are you greedy for?
love
4. SLOTH: What is your plan for an ideal day of sloth?
laying around with a good book and trashy tv
5. WRATH: Describe a time that you let out a can of whoop ass on someone.
I rather not its not one of my prouder moments.
6. ENVY: Who or what do you envy? Why?
I don't think i envy anyone or anything but there are people who have qualities I want , so I guess i envy that.
7. PRIDE: Have you ever had to swallow your pride? What are you proud of?
Yes, and it went down rough. I am proud of myself because i changing the thins in my life that need to be.

Words mean nothing

Some of the most important things in life are always easier said then done. Like I love you or i am sorry,I've just been thinking a lot about the meaning of these words and the lack of sincerity i feel when people- even myself when i say them. At first I thought that the words had lost there meaning but that not it its the person behind those words that puts all the intent and meaning truely into the words.

Note to self

I just want my life back