If i dont get the sex i want and need from my boyfriend, i will cheat. Worst yet as long as i use protection i wouldnt feel guilty. Horrible yes but its the truth of how i am and how i feel.

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

This love shit is complete bullshit
or at least I want to believe it is.
But I know different.
What it's like to fight for hours but
still want to crawl in bed next to him
and go to sleep.
In know how it feels to fall asleep
holding hands and the glory of waking
up entangled in the body of a lover.
Love is this curious thing.
When I say I want to end it really
the thought of being without him
is crushing.
Now my life in entangled with another
person and i kind of like it.
I love him that's the easy part
Being with him and working through both of our
bullshit- no that is the true test of love.
And I want an A